constant anxiety. sometimes it is okay. but i need to reflect on how my behavior and habits change during these times. suddenly i can't sleep. ever since i've been home i can't sleep. its been a long time since i've had this problem. and i hate insomnia! for months i had it and i was miserable..it make my relationship miserable..i couldn't think, i was emotionally unstable..i couldn't do simple classwork in school. i could have done a lot better and done a lot more extracurricular if it wasn't for my birth-control anxiety combination. i haven't had it much since getting off of birth control. until now when i come home and my house is hell, people are mean and fleas are on all my stuff! how can i not sleep when i'm afraid fleas are on me..god..i'll learn a lesson from things like this, when the unexpected happens from trying to do a good deed. in the end i guess all my too many clothes are clean. yeah, its made me re-realize i have too many clothes. way to many. i've washed so many and more are still in my closet at school. i miss school too..i miss academics, learning, the college environment. i would learn forever if i could..i want to know so many things..but patience. i need patience and courage to explore the things that would be outside of my comfort zone.
call amanda again
go to farm and pick veggies
find ingredients for vegan zucchini bread in house or make a list for store
make zucchni bread
finish cleaning up stuff
finish putting away stuff
draw picture for anna
draw picture for momentary prophets
go to pool
go for a run
do yoga
read eclispe
see i even put the fun things on my lists. onward towards my coffee addiction and checking of all things internet.
raw food: a goal.
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